My Cancun Trip part 1 - Search for the Chupacabra (and lots of cervezas)

Okay, so I’ll admit I’ve been a bad girl. Or, rather, a busy girl. I apologize profusely for not updating this little blog in quite awhile. BUT! to make up for this, here is a post about an awesome trip I took to Cancun, Mexico at the end of 2011. I had an absolute blast, and here’s how it all went down:

I woke up on a chilly October morning to these baffling words in my Twitter inbox: “Congratulations! You have been chosen as a winner in the Cancun CVB contest, including a complimentary (all-inclusive) stay at the Great Parnassus Resort and Spa in Cancun, Mexico!” Whaaaaaaaaat?! After reading these words I literally jumped up and did a crazy dance while “squeeeeing” in delight.

See, the thing is, I’ve NEVER travelled outside of Canada (save for a trip or two to New York state to purchase reduced priced Coach bags… but that’s another story.) I’ve never had the funds, or the courage, to venture out of my little happy, maple syrup drizzled, Canadian bubble. This was a -big- opportunity for me – and I jumped on it! Within days my plane was booked, the hotel was booked, and I was searching local stores for a perfect bathing suit to wear on the sunny beaches of Cancun.

Fast forward a couple months, and here I am sitting on a West Jet plane with complimentary ginger ale and Bits n’ Bites in my hand, travelling south to Mexico. To say I was nervous would be an understatement. I was (not so literally) crapping my pants skirt; anxious about what would unfold when I reached this foreign country. Would the people be nice? Should I have brushed up on my Spanish more? Will everyone try to sell me time-shares at the airport? Is the chupacabra real (and will it eat me if I look directly into its eyes)? Crap, did I pack the Pepto-Bismol?! Thankfully, a strong cocktail and a reassuring smile from a friendly West Jet flight attendant helped to calm my nerves.

Wing Shot from my seat going to Cancun. I love flying with West Jet!

Roughly four hours and a horrible in-flight screening of Halle Berry’s razzy-nominated ‘Catwoman’ later, the plane landed safely at the Cancun International Airport. Exiting the plane, I proudly received my first ever passport stamp (another happy dance ensued!), retrieved my bags, and met up with the taxi driver I had booked before hand to meet me there and ensure I got to the hotel in one piece (sans any chance chupacabra attacks – you can never be too careful.)

Landing in Cancun! Applause by all.

Upon arriving at the Great Parnassus Resort and Spa, I was stunned by how majestic it looked. The resort certainly lived up to its name – and our ocean-facing room with a balcony was no exception.

View of the ocean from the hotel room balcony

View of the Nichupte Lagoon from our balcony

We were greeted with not one, or two, but FOUR Dos Equis Cervezas, along with limes, salt, and several bottles of water. I don’t always go to Mexico, but when I do, I prefer it with Dos Equis. ;) The awesome staff at the resort made sure we never stayed thirsty.

Nice welcoming gift!

I do enjoy the Dos Equis

Not being accustomed to the heat, I quickly changed into something more comfortable and headed downstairs to check out the resort. Yes, an individual attempting to sell us time-shares approached us, but forcefully saying “no” as we were told to do, stopped him from asking again.

The remainder of my first day in captivating Cancun was spent taking full advantage of the “all-inclusive” perks the resort had to offer. Let’s just say, I had quite a few cervezas, and perhaps some tequila shots as well (but who’s really counting?). The bartenders in the various bars scattered throughout the resort were extremely accommodating to us foreigners. I also spent the entire evening laying out on a blue chair on the beach, soaking in the sun (with a high level SPF sunscreen on – have you -seen- how pale I am?!) and reading a Jodi Picoult book. Absolute heaven! You can’t beat the hot temps, turquoise water, an awesome buzz, and a good novel. Trust me, the combination of these things equals pure awesomeness. There were no sightings of the elusive and terrifying chupacabra on day one. I slept easy (and yes, I did remember to bring the Pepto. Phew.)

Another vid I took of our resort and the beach! 

Gorgeous stretch of beach in front of our resort!

The sun started to set, but I didn't wanna go inside!

Day two in Cancun followed a similar laid-back style as day one. My first authentic Mexican breakfast consisted of spicy eggs and refried beans (thankful once again that I remembered the Pepto-Bismol.) Sleeping in felt great, and immediately after breakfast we hit the African-themed bar downstairs (don’t judge.) An extremely strong tequila shot and cranberry vodka mix later, it was time to hit the beach again.

Me enjoying my cranberry vodka drink at the Kilimanjaro bar at the Resort. 

This dude made some wicked drinks! Tip a dollar American for extra strong booze :)

Tequila go down de hole.

The day couldn’t have been more perfect – bright blue skies, crystal clear water, warm temperatures, and an almost deserted beach. The entire day was spent enjoying the beach and the bar (and hoping back and forth from both.)

Heaven! 

I'm so cool.

Stayed on the beach all day until sunset.

Enjoying my drink(s) :)

As the sun set, we went for a walk, witnessed a wedding on the beach, then went for a dip in the resort’s outdoor infinity pool. The cool water felt so soothing against my now sunburnt skin (Did I mention how pale I am?)

Sun setting on the beach. 

This pic I took reminds me of the poem, "Footsteps."

The night ended with a steak dinner that might have been the best meat I’ve ever had the pleasure of tasting (or maybe this was the cervezas talking.) Seriously, the meat and potatoes just melted in my mouth.

This. Was. Amazing. Om nom nom.

We went to bed early because the next day we had to wake up at the crack of dawn to travel to Chichén-Itzá in the Yucatan. No sight of Mr.Chupacabra on day 2 either. I began to doubt his existence (but this is the prime time he will attack, so I still kept an eye out for him. I mostly just saw donkeys wearing sombreros… or maybe this was the cervezas talking.)

Day 3 and Day 4 of my Mexican vacay to be continued! Will Chuppy find me? Will I find him? Will he eat me? Is he writing this blog post at this very moment pretending to be me? All things to be revealed soon…

10 Superheroes I'd Bring Home to Mom (or not)

Let's get this out of the way: I'm a geek. I'm also a girl. Sometimes I like to fantasize about men in tights... with superpowers. *squee!*

Now that I've exposed this tiny secret about myself, I might as well just come clean about everything. After years of reading comic books, playing comic book related video games, and watching midnight showings of Marvel and DC comic inspired movies the night they were released in theatres, well, I've thought about what superheroes would make the ideal boyfriend. Day after day, I would spend endless hours daydreaming as I gazed lackadaisically out the window, picturing my inked hunky heroes springing from the page, console, and movie screen, injecting a lot more excitement into my life.

I'm not crazy - every girl does this.... right?

Anywho, after much consideration and years upon years of research (seriously, I came out of my mother's womb wishing I was an elite member of the X-Men) I've finally decided upon which superheroes I would fancy dating had I the opportunity to do so.

Here we go:

1. Superman

How does his hair always seem so perfectly coiffed?!

Superman is comic book history. Without Superman, the first big comic book superhero, we might not have had Spider-Man, Batman, and all the other delicious eye-candy that came next. That being said, Superman is the ultimate pimp. This dude gets away with everything. One minute he's destroying some baddies, and the next he's back at his job at the Daily Planet and no one's the wiser. As long as his glasses are on, no one suspects a thing. Either the entire world is stupid, or he's super awesome. And how hot is a man in glasses? Super hot. Superman makes my list because not only does he somehow manage to pull off the blue and red jumpsuit (the big S in the middle stands for SEXY!) but he can also leap down the street and buy you flowers during his work shift and no one would know. Plus, if you're ever tired of your surroundings, BAM, Superman can fly you to a pub in Ireland or for an uber romantic moonlit stroll down a Parisian street. That's just awesomesauce right there.

2. Wolverine

Jesus Christ. On second thought, this guy is actually pretty terrifying.

I gotta admit, I've always had a thing for beardy, hairy men in plaid shirts and tight jeans - even before I knew what a hipster was. Add some impressively sculpted sideburns, a wicked sense of humour, some bad boy attitude, a mysterious past.... then a dollop of surprising sensitivity on top of all that, and you have a make-the-knees-weak sundae. Sure, the dude is a little on the short side and has a bit of a Napoleon complex, but we all have our faults. Plus, he's Canadian. Love me some Canadian boys. 

3. Cyclops

It's okay that I can't stare into your eyes - just zap that creepy bug on the ceiling for me :)

When you're thinking about the X-Men, you definitely can't forget Cyclops (seriously, everyone, don't forget about him.) Cyclops has the poise and gentlemanly air of a man about town, but he's definitely not a man of leisure. Something tells me his laser beam superpower would come in handy for opening up troublesome pickle jars. Help around the kitchen is always appreciated. 

4. Thor

I could stare at that er, hammer, for hours. <3

The mighty Thor wields a mighty hammer penis. It doesn't take a psychology course on Freud to comprehend the symbolism behind Thor's mighty... hammer. Clearly the dude is packing. To quote Captain Hammer from Dr. Horrible's Sing-A-Long Blog, "the hammer is my penis." But a mighty penis does not necessarily make a mighty man. Thor is also so built, so ripped, so full of unadulterated adrenaline and unchecked aggression that he makes Captain America look like Miss America. Plus, he speaks like a Shakespearian actor, and he could give hair tips. What else could a lady want?

5. Mr. Fantastic

Just close your eyes and it won't be so freaky.

He's bendy. 'nuff said.


6. The Thing

Just close your eyes and it won't be so freaky.

He's always hard. 'nuff said.


7. Spider-Man

Ultimate source of sticky stuff; if that's what you're into.

Nerdy, sensitive boys like Mr. Parker have always held a place in my heart. Peter is the kind of man who would always bring you flowers, shyly write you love notes even after a six-year relationship, and never forget to thank you after a smoosh beneath the sheets. Even if he stood you up in favour of going to see his aunt, or saving some kittens stuck up in a tree, it would still be easy to forgive him the moment he flashed his self conscious smile and apologized. Sure, you might have to deal with his goopy stringy web stuff hanging all over the place, but who needs glue when you have web goo everywhere? He'd be the ultimate handyman around the house!

8. Scott Pilgrim

"Hey Scott, my ex really broke my heart. Can you turn him into Super Mario coins now?"

Not only does Scott contain that early twenties swagger, but he's just as much rock star as he is superhero star. He's not too timid to throw your evil ex-boyfriends to the ground in a superhero battle, and then write a rockin' garage song about it. Last guy you dated was a dick? No problem! Scott will take care of him for you! Mwauhaha.

9. Green Lantern

Never be scared of the dark again! (I hope you like green.)

To be honest, I think the guy is kind of a tool. At the same time, he has damn good taste in jewellery. If Hal has a giant mystical ring that can conjure up anything his heart desires, can you just imagine the engagement ring YOU would receive?! Plus, I get scared of the dark sometimes and he always has a lantern, so, you know, it all works out in the end. 

10. Tuxedo Mask

OMG! Girly hard-on! 

I had an enormous crush on this Sailor Moon dude all throughout elementary school. He's dark, he's handsome, he always saves the day. You can count on him to always be there for you. Plus, do you wanna know what his super power is? He throws freakin' ROSES at his enemies. Roses!!!!! You can't get any more romantic than that. 

So, there you have it! My top 10 super dudes I'd get with if getting with it was possible. I'm sure you might not agree with some of my choices, but that's just too bad. I'll have them all for myself... in my mind. 

- Jennie

R.I.P Tigger. I love you so much.

Today I lost someone very important to me. I lost a friend. I lost a family member. I lost someone who has seen me grow up, and who has stayed by my side during many momentous occasions in my life. My beloved cat Tigger, who just turned 18 years old on June 23, passed away this afternoon.

I'm going to miss you, friend.

I knew something was wrong the moment I woke up. You see, every morning Tigger wakes me up by opening my bedroom door (yes, he knew how to do this), jumping on my bed and meowing in my ear. It was my own personal feline alarm clock. He wanted food and he wanted it NOW. But, if I didn't get up right at that moment and feed him, he'd be okay with just getting some quality pets, rubs, scratches and snuggles.

This morning I wasn't woken up by a meowing cat. This morning I opened my door and my mom had a sad look on her face. She told me that Tigger didn't go down to eat breakfast this morning (this was very unusual for him, since he loves food and is always first to get fed.) In fact, he hadn't moved much at all and was acting very unlike himself.

I went downstairs and found Tigger lying on the kitchen floor. He tried to get up a few times, but kept wobbling around and falling down. It was extremely painful to watch. I wanted so badly to help him but I didn't know what to do. I felt so useless. After awhile he began to pant quietly. My mom and I tried to stay near him and pet him, but he just wanted to be left alone. He wouldn't even purr when I scratched the sides of his face. I brought him his favourite mouse, but he didn't pay any attention to it. I prayed and prayed that he would get better, but his body began to deteriorate further as the hours passed. Over time he stood up once and urinated on the kitchen floor. We knew then there was nothing more we could do. Tigger had lost control of his body as it began to shut down.

Over the past year Tigger has lost a lot of weight. It had gotten so bad that you could feel his spine and ribs when you petted him. He also became deaf and unable to hear us call his name. He stopped washing himself, resulting in many clumps in his fur. He would urinate around the house, oftentimes not being able to make it to the litter box in time. He even developed a lump on his tail that grew bigger and bigger as the months passed. Tigger began to develop an unquenchable appetite and thirst. No matter how much we fed him or gave him water he'd still want more. We knew he was sick, but because of his age surgery wasn't an option. His heart couldn't take it. We just tried to provide him with a comfortable life. We knew this was coming.

Still, at 2:30pm when my parents picked Tigger up from the kitchen floor and took him away to the vet  to put him down, it felt like I was losing such an integral part of my life. I knew it was the right thing to do, but that decision wasn't easy. I felt so empty and defeated as he left. I still feel empty. I am happy I got to say goodbye, and I am happy that he is no longer in pain. But, my heart broke in half as they carried him out of the house and he meowed one last meow at me. I wanted to help him so bad. I wanted to make him comfortable and free of pain and I wanted him to know that I love him so much and that he means the world to me. I hope he knows that now.

I couldn't bear to make the trip to the vet. I just couldn't see him without life in his eyes. I hope he forgives me.

And now he's gone. My best friend for 18 years.

Being an only child I've always formed very close relationships with my pets. When my first cat Sticky died I was devastated, and this is no different. I know most people won't understand what I'm going through, and might even think I'm overreacting, but losing Tigger is similar to losing a brother for me.

Tigger used to sleep next to me in bed almost every night. If he wasn't on my bed, he'd be outside my door. I'd like to think he was protecting me during the night when he did that.

Tigger loved begging for food during dinner time. When he was allowed "people" food, he loved eating: corn, sour cream and onion crackers, Smartfood popcorn, chinese food chicken, tuna, heck... anything really. But those were his favourites. It was impossible to eat cereal around Tigger, since he would always try to stick his paw right into the bowl. He loved milk so much. I'd sometimes purposefully leave a bit of milk at the bottom of the bowl and let him lick it up - he really enjoyed that.

He came close to catching those squirrels!

Tig also loved laying outside in the backyard soaking up the sun in the grass. He loved watching the birds and chasing the squirrels. He even chased after a bumblebee once and got stung on his paw. It swelled up to the size of a softball. Poor thing... He never went near those bees again. He also enjoyed munching on grass and then coming inside the house and throwing it all up everywhere.

Tigger snoozing in the shade last August

Tigger was extremely social and would sit on any stranger's lap and demand snuggles. He meowed all the time, and was definitely not shy at all. It was hard having a conversation on the phone without him interrupting with all his meows; but I didn't mind. Tigger had a favourite purple mouse that he played with. He would carry that mouse everywhere in his mouth - sometimes even singing with it! One time he left it in my ski boot and I found a nice little surprise in there when I was at the ski hill changing into my equipment. Tigger loved everyone and always wanted to meet and great every person that came into the door. That cat had one hell of a big personality, and I loved him for it.

Tigger loving the attention. 

The house seems so quiet now. It feels so empty without my furry friend.

There's so much more to say about how amazing of a cat Tigger was, but it's hard to type coherently amid all the tears. I've been crying non-stop since he left.

Tigger leaves behind a younger brother, Spook, who is going to miss his older brother very much. Spook always followed Tigger EVERYWHERE and wanted to be involved with whatever Tigger would do, so I am sure he's going to be just as heartbroken as I am over the next while. Spook is already searching all of Tigger's hiding and sleeping spots wondering where his big brother went.

Spook and Tigger... best buds.

I miss you Tigger. I've cried so much today. It kills me that I will never see you again. Well, see you here again, anyway. I'd like to believe you're in heaven with our old cat Sticky right now. I'd like to believe I'll see you again one day. I hope you're having a great time in heaven and that you're warm and comfortable and happy. I hope you have all your favourite foods and I hope you have tons of squirrels and birds to chase. I love you very much. You will be missed each and every day. Today I've lost a friend, but you will forever be in my thoughts, prayers, and heart.

<3 Jennie

"Not the least hard thing to bear when

they go from us, these quiet friends, is

that they carry away with them so many years of our own lives."

- John Galsworthy

"Ask the beasts and they will teach you the beauty of this earth." 

- St. Francis of Assisi

"God's finger touched him, and he slept."

- Alfred, Lord Tennyson

<3 you always.

Goodnight, sweet friend.

Memories: My Grade 6 Class Photo

Holy cow! You guys will never guess what I stumbled upon while cleaning out my closet today. It's my grade 6 school picture! I can't believe my mom made me wear such a dorky outfit. Sure, I was in a Catholic school, but that bow is just plain vomit inducing. Yowza. Mom, what were you thinking?!

Oh, and remember how the photographer would always say you look like a certain celebrity to make you smile? It always really hurt my feelings when my friends would get compared to gorgeous women like Cindy Crawford and all the ladies of 90210 while I was compared to Garfield. That doesn't even make sense - I'm not a ginger! :(

Also: I can't believe how much I've changed since grade 6. I mean, sure, everyone was going through their awkward bouts of early puberty (and I clearly was no exception.) My hair is a lot lighter these days and I usually wear glasses now. I even think my face has thinned out quite a bit and I've grown a few inches. I've even quit eating tuna sandwiches every day for lunch. I know how much the smell grossed people out. Phew.

Jennie, Grade 6, Corpus Christi School, Mississauga

PS - I have significantly less hairballs now that I'm grown up. Oprah was right when she said we should all drink 8 glasses of water a day. I find it helps a lot.

Now, let's see YOUR embarrassing class photos from elementary school! I bet none of you are as brave as I am to share mine.

- Jennie

Top 10 Things for Students to do While Waiting in Line for Coffee

I wrote this article for the Sheridan Sun back when I was still a college kid. Ah, I miss those days. But, alas, I loved writing this and I still believe it applies today! I mean, who doesn't get bored as all heck while waiting in line for a hot delicious beverage from Tim Hortons? The Lord (and perhaps Santa Claus) only knows how many medium french vanilla cappuccinos I put back during my University/College years. So, for all you college kids who read my blog (and there must be at least one, am I right?) or for any body who gets as insanely bored as I do while waiting in -any- kind of line, here's some ideas to make your time waiting a little less tedious.

Besides the basic necessities of food, water, shelter and sleep, college students soon discover the importance of coffee for their daily survival. Whether it is to combat hellish early morning classes, the disastrous side effects of all-night partying, or to simply refresh one’s self after pulling an all-nighter, coffee soon becomes a trusted ally for many students. However, attaining this holy grail of sustenance becomes exasperating when one must stand in vast line-ups that seem to never end. In order to pass the time waiting in line for that anticipated first sip of the day, here are 10 amusing activities to partake in:


1. Attempt to start a round of the popular song, “100 bottles of beer on the wall” with the people in line around you. For an additional challenge, change 100 bottles to 1 million and giggle when the Animation, Arts and Design students have difficulty counting past 100.

2. Stare at other people in line with a big grin on your face. Do not look away even if they look at you. Your large, stupid smile will completely freak people out and make them question what really did happen last night.

3. In your loudest voice chant, “the ants go marching one by one hurrah, hurrah” every time the line moves ahead.

4. If you’re a journalism student bring a microphone and begin randomly interviewing people in line for practice. If you’re an interior design student think of ways to improve the ambiance and lighting within Tim Horton’s or Second Cup to enhance the company’s image. If you’re a cosmetology student brainstorm ways to make current employees as sexy as possible. If you are any other student, catch up on homework, slacker!

5. Mime.

6. Compare and contrast the characters of James T. Kirk and Jean-Luc Picard. Vehemently argue that one is actually Hamlet, while the other is King Lear. Proceed into a long rant claiming that Worf is, in actuality, Ophelia.

7. Conjure up a conversation with the nearest history buff and begin referring to all prominent historical figures by nicknames. For instance, rename George Washington, “Georgie” and Ben Franklin, “Sparky.”

8. Locate a student enrolled in Art History and discuss why Michelangelo got to be a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle while Van Gogh didn’t. For argument’s sake, consider whether Van Gogh would have used nunchucks or a pair of katanas.

9. Randomly blow in people's hair, and when they turn around, look away (preferably giving the person next to you a strange look.)

10. Draw a box on the ground with chalk, and tell everyone that this is your personal space. Do this every time the line moves up. This will really intrigue any students interested in psychology.

If you follow these entertaining and time-consuming activities, that cherished coffee will be yours in no time at all (if you haven’t already been escorted away by campus police.) Enjoy!

- Jennie

I'm SO Sorry, Blogger Peeps!

It's been forever since I last posted on my blog, and for that I am truly and utterly sorry. Seriously, just ask my cat - he knows how sorry I am.

But in all seriousness, I DO promise to post something soonish. I've been hella busy these last couple of months, but that's really no excuse. The world didn't end, my brain still works at it's maximum capacity, and I really should be using my spare time to write (and not pwn the n00bs in Halo Reach.) Yes, pwning the n00bs is rather fun, but where does that get me in life? No where! Tea bagging (can a girl physically do that?) a 12 year-old child does not make me awesome. Writing blog posts, on the other hand, makes me awesomesauce.

So, on that note, I will continue to try to be awesome and post awesome things in here. Look! I'll even start by recording an apology that demonstrates how sorry I am:

Sorry for the lack of Blog Posts! by neonkiss

I hope you can all forgive me. And if not, here's my tumblr account with some of my favourite pictures that might make you giggle: LOLLERSKATES!

- Jennie

The Sexiest Man on TV: Captain Jean-Luc Picard

The other day a female friend of mine asked me a rather thought-provoking question: "Who is the sexiest man on television?" While this question might produce some hesitation and pondering among others, I immediately knew my answer. Without hesitation I blurted out, "Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise." I might also have added, "make it so" (Picard's iconic catch phrase.) My female friend stared at me, wide-eyed and confused. So let me explain.

Captain Jean-Luc Picard is a Star Trek character portrayed by Patrick Stewart. He appears in the television series, Star Trek: The Next Generation and the feature films, Star Trek Generations, Star Trek: First Contact, Star Trek: Insurrection, and Star Trek Nemesis. He also made an appearance in the pilot episode of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.

Picard is depicted as deeply moral, highly logical, and cerebral. He is a master of diplomacy and debate who resolves seemingly intractable issues between multiple parties. Though such resolutions are usually peaceful, Picard is also shown using his remarkable tactical skills in situations when it is required. 

Okay, so even with this description you still might be a tad confused as to why I label this man as the sexiest on television. The thing is, I practically grew up raised on Star Trek: The Next Generation. My mother developed a Trek habit while I was in utero, watching Shatner and Nimoy in late-night syndication while I bounced around her insomniac belly. And she viewed TNG as a virtuous bit of television, whose plots and philosophical think-pieces were the perfect antidote to the mindless timesuck of soap operas. So instead of love triangles and sleazy affairs, I spent my elementary school years with aspirant androids and Wesley Crusher. My cousin also adored anything sci-fi related, so many a dinner were spent watching Picard boldly commandeer his ship around the treacherous universe. 

Clearly, I was captivated by this powerful man at a very young age. And my fascination of him continued throughout my youth. But this wasn't enough to convince my friend that Jean-Luc Piccard is the sexiest man alive. To further my point, I made a list:

• Picard has a fondness for detective stories, Shakespeare, and horseback riding.  Forsooth! All these activities combined make him awesome.

• He is frequently shown drinking Earl Grey tea and issuing his famous taglines, "Engage" (when going to warp) and, "Make it so" (when giving an order). Seriously now, who else will drink Earl Grey tea and actually LIKE it? Who else will issue forth such commanding orders with as much confident authority as him? No one, that's who. 

• Jean-Luc was born in La Barre, France, which means he is fluent in French. And I'm not talking about the butchered Quebec French where everything is Bonhomme de Neige and poutine, I'm talking about that sexy Parisian language of love and wine. Yeah, he has that.

• Despite his often serious attitude, Picard doesn't mind acting playful and silly from time to time. 

lollerskates!

• He is bald, and he doesn't give a shit. Sure, Picard has lost his hair, but the fact that he couldn't care less makes him insanely attractive. Confidence is key, gentlemen! 

• Jean-Luc Picard is so cool, he doesn’t even have to fly his own ship. He has bitches for that. But if he wanted to, he could control the entire USS Enterprise on his own - without having to stop and ask for directions. ;)

• Q? Pfft. That's just another letter in the alphabet for Picard. 

• Jean-Luc Picard doesn’t scream like a girl when he’s getting tortured. In fact, when faced against the odds, he'll continue to insist that there are "four lights." Picard will certainly never crumble under pressure. 

• Picard fires both photon torpedoes AND phasers at the same time while in battle. He always hits his target. There is nothing sexier than a man with good aim!

• Picard was responsible for Beverly Crusher's husband dying, berated her son constantly in her presence, yet still managed to make her fall for him. No one else could get away with some of the shit he has pulled.

• Picard gets along with the aliens aboard his ship. While sometimes getting into short squabbles with the Borg, Picard ultimately accepts and rejoices in the nationalities of others. (Heck, he even has Whoopi Goldberg working in his bar!) 

• Picard has never mutinied or had his crew mutiny against him. His subordinates respect him, and he has earned that respect. 

• Jean-Luc knows how to carry a tune - he has played on hundreds of Federation worlds. His heavenly melodies transcend the great barriers of race, culture, and species! 

• Picard only becomes scruffy looking after living a lifetime in an alternate universe created by an extinct civilization. It is obvious he takes the time to care about his personal hygiene. 

• He even looks good in a spandex, one-piece jumpsuit. Lemme tell you, not many men can pull THAT look off! 

• Even when incredibly upset, Picard manages to look like a cute, sleeping kitten. 

• Picard is incredibly intelligent and fluent in many languages - even becoming the first freshmen to win the Academy marathon. 

• Jean-Luc Picard was never the third wheel in an incestuous love triangle. When a woman is with Picard, he focuses on her and her alone. *swoon*

• Even while confronted with countless stressful situations, Picard still takes the time to have a laugh and break out into a random song and dance routine.

So, there you have it. Jean-Luc Picard epitomizes a sexy, confident, cultured man in many different ways. And, well, even if I haven't convinced my female friend (or my awesome blogger readers) yet, I'll take him all for myself, thanks ;)

I can feel your eyes on me, Captain ;) ;) ;)

- Jennie